"Elephant" Update

There is a corner in my heart that is scared to death to write this post. It's not because I am shy or secretive. In fact, those are probably the last words that people would use to describe me. I am scared because I have never experienced anything in my life that has shaken me to my very core like this. I am scared to be real with you, to be honest, to be completely transparent because I'm afraid that I may be opening Pandora's box. I'm fearful that as this unfolds in the coming weeks you will see that I am weak and selfish.

God continues to lovingly push me to speak up, though. He is stretching me. He is reminding me that at the end of the day, this is not a story about me. No, in reality, this is 100% His story. And so I will share; I will speak up....

After several months of hearing the answer "No," we have a green light and have begun another IVF cycle. We were forced to wait in November and twice in December for various reasons. First, my body was messed up from all of the hormone treatments in October's cycle, then I had an allergic reaction to the medicine that was supposed to help. Finally, my body was back on track but the IVF lab was closed for three weeks to allow time for routine maintenance and personnel vacations. It was all very disappointing.

We're rolling again now, though! There is not much going on right now because we are in the very earliest stage of the cycle (I'm taking the birth control pill only). In the coming weeks, though, this cycle will start going full-throttle.

There is a part of me that is anxious, terrified even. There is also a huge part of me that is cautiously excited/thrilled! Colin and I could quite possibly have a front row seat to witness a beautiful miracle! :) We have complete peace that God has opened every door for us to move forward with this again. We are better equipped this time because we have the full knowledge (in our heads AND in our hearts) that this has nothing to do with me, or Colin, or the medicine, or the doctor, or the lab professionals. It has everything to do with Him. This is His miracle called life. He is in control (kind of freeing, when you stop and think about it)!!

Colin and I ask - ok, really we are begging! :) - that you join us in prayer over this. As we progress I will do my best to provide specific prayer needs. For now, please pray for God's covering/blessing over this entire cycle. Pray that Colin and I will trust in God alone, and not get consumed in the details (the medicine, the timeline/calendar, etc.).

"'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust in Me also.'"
~ Jesus (John 14:1)