Thank You

It's 7am so obviously I do not have another update from the doctor yet, but I could not wait to say something to you all -- THANK YOU!

Ever since the nurse's phone call yesterday afternoon I have been struggling. For the first time this cycle I felt my defenses come down and I felt very attacked. I called a couple people who were at work yesterday to tell them the news directly, and they were understandably busy with their days. I felt like all they had time to hear was the "bullet points and bottom line" version of my conversation with the nurse and that was all they cared about. I hung up the phone with these people and I felt as though I was left drowning in fear for my babies' lives all by myself.

When I was in college I was in a Christian sorority called Phi Lamb. One of our chaplains told us that once we accept Christ and the Holy Spirit takes residence within us that the devil cannot reside in us. He cannot hear our thoughts or the cries of our hearts. The evil one is smart, though, and he can guess what we're thinking and feeling. And when he sees a moment of weakness, he pounces. He whispers all sorts of lies. He tortures us to fear and doubt. The chaplain told us that the only way the devil can hear us is when we speak out loud to him. So the first thing I did when I got in my car after work was tell the devil out loud to get away from me in the name of Jesus. I told him that I was a daughter of the most High King and to leave me alone. I then prayed to the Lord and gave my babies lives to Him. I told Him that I had trusted Him with my life for years now, and that I wanted to dedicate and entrust those babies' lives to Him as well.

Y'all, I know this last paragraph may sound weird to some of you, but it worked! PRAISE GOD because this unexplainable peace came over me immediately and stayed with me the rest of the night, even as I slept (which is a miracle because during this process I usually wake up several times a night with my mind racing).

Well, this morning it started to happen again. I started to worry. I started to wonder if I was being foolish to think that this could work. I got my bowl of cereal and as I do every morning I came to the computer to check blogs while I eat. I read a couple of new posts from my blog friends and then I went to my blog and read your comments to yesterday's posts.

WOW! I don't even know what to say except THANK YOU! To read your comments - some from friends I know well, one from family, some from friends I've known a short time, and one from a person I don't think I know - I was so encouraged. The Lord reminded me this morning through your comments that people are praying. He showed me that there are so many of you that have not and will not give up hope. I was brought to tears to think that even in my moments of weakness, there are so many others carrying this with me. So, thank you! Once again, the Lord has used you all to give me much strength. I am so humbled, so grateful. Thank you.