Colin and I just returned from the doctor's office where we received tragic news. All of our embryos ceased developing a couple of days ago, and the doctor said they were not where they needed to be for a viable transfer. He recommended that we not move forward this afternoon.
There are no words to describe the pain we are feeling. The best I can describe it is utter shock and heartbreak. This was so unexpected and unforeseen. The doctor said that they do not check the embryos every day because it is not safe. They pulled the embryos out about an hour before the procedure and that is when they discovered their status. Hence the reason we had no forewarning.
The doctor said that they would check the embryos again tomorrow and if they have "amazingly" changed (his words) then they will bring us in tomorrow for the transfer. He did not feel this is likely, though. You may think this a little foolish, but Colin and I beg you to please pray for a miracle. We feel that the doctor would not have said this if there was absolutely no chance of this happening. We know the power of God's mighty hand (proof: see my last post), and we fully believe that God can place His hands upon our embryos and further develop them tonight if it is His will. Please pray and believe with us!
The hope we have is that we serve a loving God whose Word promises this:
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" -Jeremiah 29:11
We are asking for a miracle. We know that He is sovereign and His ways are higher than ours, so we will choose to trust in Him no matter what tomorrow holds.
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I am praying for you, Colin and Erica!!! I pray that God would fill your heart's desire and work a miracle over night. I'm sure you have looked to the Psalms during these times of giving up control to God and pouring your hearts out to Him. Psalm 143 comes to my mind for you guys. David begs the Lord to hear his prayers. It also talks about remembering the Lord's faithfulness in the past which helps us to trust Him now. Sometimes you just don't know what to pray anymore, but I pray this Psalm for you guys.
Erica- my heart is breaking for you and Colin. But do not lose hope- God is so much bigger than science and doctors. We are still praying, I promise you.
Erica,
I don't have many words for this time for there are no words other than the Word of God that can bring comfort. Please know that I am heartbroken with you and praying for you. Be anxious for nothing for the Lord has already gone ahead of you and holds your tomorrow.
Erica!
I am on my knees for you. My heart aches for you tonight. Know that my husband and I are on our knees for you and Colin.
I know this time is so hard and so diapointing but, i just pray that the Lord would bring comfort and peace over both of you tonight...that would not loose sight of the great things HE is preparing before you.
Believe His power, Rest in His promises and Rely on His righteous hand to guide you.
Fighting for you both!
I feel there just aren't adequate words to say how we are hurting for you. I know that I cannot come close to understanding the depth of the emotions that this entails. But please know that we love you, are praying for you, and are awed by your beatiful unwaivering faith.
Colin and Erica- We are praying for you both. Sending hugs and understanding your way. We lift you up tonight and pray His will for tomorrow.
I just read your update. I will keep praying.
I am in prayer and am hanging onto hope. God is in the miracle business. There's nothing too big for our Mighty God.
Erica,
I'm so sorry to hear this and wish that I could give you hug in person. We will most definitely be praying for a wonderful miracle and that the Lord would receive glory in this situation. I pray that He will also calm and hold your hearts.
with love & hope~
erica, it is far from foolish to call upon us to pray. we are grieving with you--and God also cries with His children when they hurt. His perfect peace can be with us in the midst of tears.
i'm doing beth moore's "living beyond yourself" and we just studied "peace" last week. in Jesus's response to the death of lazarus, He cried with mary & martha because He loved them--even when He knew He was about to perform a miracle.
i loved that beth pointed out that the timing allowed for God's greater glory, for them to be void of all other explanations, and for more witnesses to the miracle so many would put their faith in Him. i am praying for such a miracle for you.
it is clear that you have been putting your children in God's hand--you are choosing to love and trust Him no matter what. your journey shows how much you are being conformed to the image of Christ. continue to take refuge in Him!
Psalm 62:8
"TRUST in HIM at all times...pour out your heart to him, for God is our REFUGE."
God tenderly holds your heart, Erica. We haven't stopped praying.
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