Still Waiting...

Yes, we're still waiting...

At times this has felt like the longest week and few days of my life. This weekend was probably the worst of it. Sparing you all the details, it was rough. My body was doing all sorts of crazy things. I was physically uncomfortable. I was scared beyond belief. I was so anxious I was making myself sick and was struggling to get food down at times (even though I was physically hungry). I was tossing and turning at night because I was so fearful. I really thought things were over. I thought I wasn't going to have to wait until the end of the month to get our answer.

On Sunday I cried through the entire worship part of the church service. The song choices were so powerful and spoke to deep places in my soul. I even had to walk out for a few minutes to gain composure. Yes, that's the emotional-wreck I was.

But then came the sermon. Our pastor has been doing a series called "Journeymen," which is basically about how we are not residents of this earth. Our true home is in Heaven, but for the time being we are travelers, journeymen, on this earth. We've talked about what it means to live like a journeymen, and on this Sunday we discussed what it meant to have faith in the unseen.

My pastor's closing question was this, "Honestly, am I living a life that believes God is right in everything?" Wow! It was like God Himself got a hold of me right there. I had this new understanding that although I did not have a promise like Abraham regarding children/descendants, I had several other promises from His Word that I must trust and believe. Here are just a few:

1) Our God is sovereign - He holds everything in His hands.

2) Our God has a plan for our lives - and it is a plan to prosper us, not to harm us.

3) Our God is good in everything - He will work all things for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

4) Our God will sustain us - no matter what comes our way He promises to never leave us and He will always equip us for the place to which He has called us.

My heart is still torn. I still wrestle with conflicting emotions - getting excited about the possibilities and in the next moment crying as though I already know it is a loss. Despite all this, I am rejuvenated because I now know that I have promises from God to cling to and claim in my own life. And as such I will choose to believe that God is good in everything.

Thank you again and again for your continued prayers and support. Please keep it coming!!