Me & My Man - Part 6

Going away to college is a huge transition for any teenager. And change is very hard...

Part 6: Miss Independent

Mr. Wonderful and I arrived in Aggieland amidst the blazing August heat. Despite the slight butterflies in our stomachs, we could not be more excited about all the adventures that awaited us.

We jumped right into the A&M culture and began attending Midnight Yell Practices and football games. (Not the greatest picture, but this is our very first Midnight Yell Practice - Fall 1999.)


It didn't take us long to get involved with organizations either. We each found Christian groups to get plugged into - I pledged Phi Lamb (a Christian sorority) and Mr. Wonderful pledged Brothers Under Christ (you guessed it, a Christian fraternity). We also started attending a co-ed freshman Bible study held on campus called Upstream. Through these and a few other avenues, we began making a lot of wonderful new friends.

It didn't take long, though, for all the adjustments and transitions of being away at college to catch-up with us. Although it's hard to admit, it is very natural for people to project their negative emotions on the people with whom they feel the safest. Mr. Wonderful and I were each dealing with our own insecurities, fears, homesickness, and pressures in general, and we often unloaded/projected these hard feelings out on one another. We were too young and naive to see this for the buried compliment that it really was, and instead it often created an air of tension in our relationship.

On top of that, with new friends and new time commitments inevitably comes jealousy. And we were not immune. The previous summer we had spent nearly every waking hour together, and now we would sometimes go several days with barely a short phone conversation. We were trying to form boundaries. We were still learning how each other operated.

But one of our biggest obstacles we faced was my independent spirit. Mr. Wonderful often told me that my boldness and strong will were some of the qualities that had initially caught his eye about me. These things were also a powerful force causing tension in our new relationship. I was struggling fiercely with the idea that many people were getting to know me as "Erica, Colin's girlfriend." Looking back it was very petty of me, but at the time it really bothered me. In an attempt to correct this, I often separated myself from Mr. Wonderful in groups of people to exert my independence. In doing so, I was not treating Mr. Wonderful with the respect he deserved.

Overall, our first semester was pretty rough and confusing. Yes, we were having fun, but our relationship wasn't always a source of that fun either. We hoped the semester break for the holidays would bring relief. It was a chance to get away from all the pressures and distractions of school and just be together.


The break at home with our families, away from school, was exactly what we needed. We discovered again the giddiness, the joy of our relationship, and for the first time really began to learn what it means to communicate honestly with one another.

The second semester proved to be much smoother. We developed bonds with a group of friends that we both loved, and for the first time we were able to appreciate the beauty that comes with shared friendships. That group started an intramural co-ed softball team in the spring, and Mr. Wonderful was one of the team captains. Because I hate to sweat, I became the "Team Mom." :) I went to every game to cheer on our team and even brought snacks! I have so many great memories of the team loading up in Mr. Wonderful's Bronco, all twelve of us, and riding out to Penberthy fields. All of our butts vibrating on the way, especially those of us "lucky" enough to get the ground seats right next to those beloved speakers of his in the very back! :)

Both Mr. Wonderful and I returned home that summer to work and save money. On May 31, 2000 we celebrated our 12-monthversary! We celebrated "monthversary"'s back then because I am a bit of a sap and didn't want to have an "anniversary" until I was married. I know, I know...it's only semantics, but it was important to me, and Mr. Wonderful graciously played along. On our special day we shared a wonderful, romantic dinner at Mark's. I felt so unbelievably special! It was probably the nicest, fanciest dinner I had ever had! Mr. Wonderful also gave me a dozen long stem roses. (I'm not sure that this was the night we went to Mark's, I remember being more dressed up than this, but these are definitely the roses!).


We made a lot of great memories that summer. Our foundation was strengthened. We had one year of school down, three to go. Or so we thought. Our Sophomore year began the next August, and little did we know, but our relationship hadn't seen anything yet...