The evenings are the hardest time of the day for me. It should be time to relax and wind down after a long day, but instead it is in my stillness that the Enemy starts to play all sorts of games with me. I've been at home alone the past two nights (and most of Saturday too) because Colin has been working long hours to prepare for a big investor presentation next week. He's come home the last two nights after I am already asleep. The four hours or so from the time that I leave work until the time that I go to bed are the longest hours of my day.
It became very real to me tonight that I am in a battle. This fertility treatment process is a physical battle, yes. But more difficult and taxing is the spiritual battle going on all around me.
Tonight I reread Exodus 14 where Moses is leading the Israelites from Pharaoh's captivity in Egypt and out through the desert. The Lord commands Moses to take the Israelites to Pi Hahiroth to set up camp, which means they have to back track in their progress some. It is about this same time that Pharaoh learns that the Israelites have fled. He becomes very upset that he no longer has their services, so he rallies all of his best troops and 600 chariots to go out after the Israelites. Next thing you know, the Israelites look up from their campsite and see Pharaoh and his armies approaching them. The Israelites become scared and angry, and they ask Moses why he brought them into the desert to die. They wanted to know why Moses didn't just leave them in Egypt as slaves, which they felt would have been better than dying in the desert.
Then Moses said something that really spoke to me tonight (right here in the midst of my own battle) - "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today...The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Wow! That's all I can say - wow...
The end of that story is one with which you are probably familiar. The Lord, through Moses, parts the Red Sea and the Israelites cross on dry land, escaping Pharaoh's armies which are swept up in the waters. The Lord takes the victory (again)!
I appreciate your willingness and eagerness to pray for Colin and me. Here are some things that we would specifically appreciate prayer on this week:
1) Please pray that we will be still and trust the Lord to fight these battles for us.
2) Pray that I will focus on and listen only to the Voice of Truth and not any others (especially at night).
3) I have an appointment tomorrow morning and Friday morning this week. Please pray for good test results and that things will progress with ease.
4) Please pray that Colin and I will put forth extra effort during these weeks to stay connected to one another and not let anything get in the way of our greatest gift and blessing - our marriage. (I hope that doesn't sound all dooms day because it is not. Not by any means. We just need each other now in ways that we have never needed each other before.)
Thank you - with all my heart.
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3 comments:
Oh my sweet Erica, I am praying for you. Your post reminded me that our greatest battles are often won, not through our own actions, but in stillness and in prayer.
you're heavy on my heart today. i'm praying for your appointment today, as well as your other requests.
Well said. We're joining you on the frontlines with prayer. Isn't it wild that sometimes more divine strength is needed to control our thoughts than our activity? (kind of like what Ronda said)
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