People are continually asking me if the fact that I have a son or that I am a Mom has really sunk in yet. And the truth is that there are times that it feels very real and times where I have to stop and literally pinch myself because it feels like a dream.
But the reality of my new family situation hit me in a new way at Kelli and Steven's wedding reception. I was sitting there enjoying myself with great company, good wine, and fantastic food. And then the DJ announced the mother/son dance. As I saw Steven loving embrace his mother and begin dancing with her, I was overcome with emotion. I began crying so hard that I doubled over almost into Jennifer's lap in tears. It hit me right there that I have been given an amazing gift. I have longed for this gift, prepared for it and prayed for it. And I was so humbled in that moment that the Lord saw fit to give me a son, an adorable baby boy. And I realized that maybe someday I would be sharing a beautiful moment, similar to the one before me, with my son on his wedding day.
In that moment I knew with all my mind and with all my heart that I was a Mom. And not just any mom - I am Nate's chosen Mom.
I could not be more happier, more humbled, or more in love.
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5 comments:
Absolutely chosen...and what a blessing! It is very surreal, isn't it?! How good is our GOD!?!
Just reading this brought tears to my eyes all over again. Ok, not just tears to my eyes, but tears and snot streaming down my face. What a beautiful moment and I am so blessed to share that memory with you.
I don't think that I will ever forget the look on your face when that realization hit you. Such joy, such relief, such unbelief and awe. Without saying a word, I knew exactly what you were thinking.
I cannot tell you the joy that I have for you in my heart. I cannot wait until the day I sit at that same table watching you dance with your son. You won't be able to miss me. I'll be the one sobbing. No, never mind, there will be LOTS of us sobbing at that moment.
Ok, so I will be the one behind the lens...sobbing.
i am just so happy for you and tears are definately in my eyes. i can remember sitting w/ you on my couch talking about the ins and outs, the looming journey ahead, the questions, the worries... and now here you are w/ nate. i pray that you are soaking it all in as unreal as it may sometimes feel. sometimes i look at sariyah or kya and it still all just feels so unreal. that i was chosen to be their mommy- no matter how short or long a time. i was having a hard night tonight and feeling frustrated and discouraged and broken and my mom rerminded me of all God had done in the past year and a galf. a year and a half ago i could have never dreamed i would be here- typing w/ one hand and holding a sleeping baby in the other arm, sitting in a room filled w/ toys and baby equipment... and yet, here i am. it is an amazing journey and i am so happy that you have reached a point where you can say "ok, God... i see now".
What a sweet, tender moment! So true...and God has many wonderful memories in store for your family in between now and his wedding day! What a blast!
This is the sweetest story, Erica. I am so happy for you! I know you will treasure this memory until it becomes your own.
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